I was what was termed a “high-bottom” drunk because I suffered no rejection because of my alcohol use. In fact, when I quit, most of the drinkers I knew said that I couldn’t be an alcoholic because they drank more than I did. I always related in meetings that you don’t have to get hit by the train to hear the whistle blowing. That statement shut up my loudest critics. I can’t say that I was deeply loved for it though.
But I was fortunate to have a father who had progressed farther in his drinking career and I realized I was going in the same direction. He and I became best friends later after he quit drinking also. How beautiful it was for Dad, Mom and me to be in recovery together. I only say was because they are waiting for me in Heaven. I know they are still here with me also.
Codependents are a trip though. Mom was forever calling me up to say now this isn’t being codependent, is it? I would just laugh because I loved her so and tell her that she wouldn’t be calling me if she didn’t know that whatever she had done was being codependent.
I believe codependents (which I believe means all of us at one time or another) have the hardest recovery because the world rewards them for their behavior. Anyone who smells of alcohol, slurs their words and wants to fight the lamppost doesn’t get rewarded.