I believe the main problem in all relationships is sharing the power in the relationship. When I am with someone I trust and adore, there is no conflict. No boss—no struggle—no control. I am including here some ideas about this from other writers.
1. From Darlene Lancer: “Codependency or Interpendency? What’s the Difference?”:
Codependent couples are usually out-of-balance. Frequently, there are struggles for power and control. There may be an imbalance of power or one partner has taken on responsibilities for the other. They’re often anxious and resentful and feel guilty and responsible for their partner’s feelings and moods. Then they try to control one another to feel okay and get their needs met. Rather than respect each other’s separateness and individuality, they can’t tolerate disagreement and blame one another for causing their problems without taking responsibility for themselves. Sometimes, what they dislike in their partner is the very thing…
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