In the process of recovery, I learned that I was a “top-dog” in the relationship power position in the codependent role I learned as a child. If one looks at any family, some family members will be the “boss” and some, for lack of a better word, will be the “slaves”. This arrangement teaches each of us who we “are” in the family of origin.
Being the eldest in my family of origin meant that I was the first to test the arrangement and to try to move into the boss role. Needless to say, much conflict with my parents occurred. A general “who do you think you are” was the assessment of my leadership ability. Because my parents never resolved the power between themselves, I was elected “it”.
This was not a family with peace as the main objective of family life. During my early recovery, I studied much…
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