In the process of recovery, I learned that I was a “top-dog” in the relationship power position in the codependent role I learned as a child. If one looks at any family, some family members will be the “boss” or top-dog and some, for lack of a better word, will be the “slaves”or underdog. This arrangement teaches each of us who we “are” in the family of origin.
Being the eldest in my family of origin meant that I was the first to test the arrangement and to try to move into the boss role. Needless to say, much conflict with my parents occurred. A general “who do you think you are” was the assessment of my leadership ability. Because my parents never resolved the power between themselves, I was elected “it”. Then they were each free to find fault with my solutions.
This was not a family with peace…
View original post 433 more words